On making an important decision.

When I was 19 I met a man at University. I became very infatuated with this man even though it wasn't quite our time. We dated briefly and broke up before we headed home over the Summer. When I came back we bumped into each other at a party and not long after began dating again.

Our relationship was always quite difficult but we had plenty of good times too. It was difficult because we both struggled to commit but he especially struggled to. He could not completely let go of a past relationship which hurt me deeply. I couldn't let go of the fear that I had met the person I could see myself spending the rest of my life with at 19.

I rushed us into moving in together because knew instinctively that if we didn't we would break up. Though it was at times nice to live together it was a terrible idea. We quickly got stuck in a rut. As was inevitable we eventually broke up.

We stayed friends. I didn't want a new relationship. I felt happy being in love with a man who I was not together with as long as we stayed friends. We both tried other things. We hurt each other by doing this. 3 weeks ago we got back together. I am bonded to him.